Liquids: Day 23

The Big Thaw!!

It was 50 degrees today so we went to the zoo an hour early to hang out before Lydia finished up with school.  

She's all smiles outside when the camera is not in her face.

Cool mom!  Look at me!

But I won't look at you.....

This is the best I'm going to do for you.  Now let's go find some puddles to splash in.

Liquids: Day 22

The Loving Family Drunk

There she is in all her glory.  Hitting the sauce at 3:00 p.m. and passing out under the art table...again.  Her husband isn't much help as he keeps falling out of the second story window of their pink house.  The whole family is screwed up, if you ask me.  I really think they are poisoning their children as they haven't grown an inch in three years.  It's like she wants them to be small forever.  Misery loves company?

I once saw this episode of Oprah that featured women with horrible shopping habits.  They shopped so often that they sold their children's clothing to afford to buy new clothes.  I suspect this here.  Simply because their closets are totally empty.  How can that be?  She's selling everything, that's how.

I'm really sick of her attitude and her refusal to pull herself together.  That's it. I'm putting her kids in my purse and taking them to the Rapunzel Tower.  At least there is food and clothing in there.  Rapunzel is responsible.  Rapunzel has dreams!

Liquids: Day 21

Liquidating the Assets

First up, the bed.  This is a solid birch wood, cherry stained, twin bed.  It's a platform bed so it has wooden slats in lieu of a box spring.  Takes a standard twin mattress.  We used this bed for two years and now have to switch to bunks because Mal is super needy and cannot sleep in her own room.  We paid $199 and would let it go for $100.  It's in perfect shape.  The specs can be found here: 

http://bunksnstuff.com/Loft-Bunk-Beds-Catalog/index.phtml?cmd=details&prodID=A2-4ND-Basic&track=3&catID=3&start=0&fID=0&sort_field=

Next is Mal's dresser.  This is also a solid wood, cherry stained dresser with four small drawers and a larger cabinet.  It doubles as a changing table (takes the standard contoured changing pad).  I believe this item is discontinued but it was marked $279, we paid $199 because it had a few scratches, and we'd let it go for $90.  I can't find the exact specs, but they are very similar to this as far as dimension and we did buy it at babies r us:

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2559321

We are also selling this air conditioner:

http://www.homedepot.com/Appliances-Heating-Cooling-Air-Quality-Air-Conditioners-Portable-Air-Conditioners/h_d1/N-5yc1vZbv64/R-202033498/h_d2/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053

Barely used, paid $350, would let it go for $200. We got a new furnace that made our AC much better and we no longer need the unit.

Email me at photography@auntspray.com for more information!!!

Liquids: Day 18-20

This and That

One puking monkey.

Two cheeks of chubby.

And a sucker in Lydia's hand.  

(that caused me to bleed after I sliced my finger with the utility knife)

Liquids: Day 17

Lydia's World

The Mermaid by Lord Alfred Tennyson

I

Who would be

A mermaid fair,

Singing alone,

Combing her hair

Under the sea,

In a golden curl

With a comb of pearl,

On a throne?

II

I would be a mermaid fair;

I would sing to myself the whole of the day;

With a comb of pearl I would comb my hair;

And still as I comb'd I would sing and say,

'Who is it loves me? who loves not me?'

I would comb my hair till my ringlets would fall

Low adown, low adown,

From under my starry sea-bud crown

Low adown and around,

And I should look like a fountain of gold

Springing alone

With a shrill inner sound

Over the throne

In the midst of the hall;

Till that great sea-snake under the sea

From his coiled sleeps in the central deeps

Would slowly trail himself sevenfold

Round the hall where I sate, and look in at the gate

With his large calm eyes for the love of me.

And all the mermen under the sea

Would feel their immortality

Die in their hearts for the love of me.

III

But at night I would wander away, away,

I would fling on each side my low-flowing locks,

And lightly vault from the throne and play

With the mermen in and out of the rocks;

We would run to and fro, and hide and seek,

On the broad sea-wolds in the crimson shells,

Whose silvery spikes are nighest the sea.

But if any came near I would call and shriek,

And adown the steep like a wave I would leap

From the diamond-ledges that jut from the dells;

For I would not be kiss'd by all who would list

Of the bold merry mermen under the sea.

They would sue me, and woo me, and flatter me,

In the purple twilights under the sea;

But the king of them all would carry me,

Woo me, and win me, and marry me,

In the branching jaspers under the sea.

Then all the dry-pied things that be

In the hueless mosses under the sea

Would curl round my silver feet silently,

All looking up for the love of me.

And if I should carol aloud, from aloft

All things that are forked, and horned, and soft

Would lean out from the hollow sphere of the sea,

All looking down for the love of me.

Liquids: Day 16

Everything's Puppies and Wine Bottles

This is my bedroom.  I did not set this shot up, I swear.  I was blogging my Day 15 photos and turned my head and saw this ridiculous display on my dresser.  Yes, that is a stuffed puppy with a ribbon tied around its neck.  Yes, that is wine.   Next to the wine is the little World Records book that I used to blog Day 12.  I'm realizing that my life is very retraceable.

So, I'm not sure what's funnier.  The simple fact that it ended up this way and I got the shot, or the shadows in the background.  I think I like the shadows.  

I'm super happy that I dusted recently or this image would look very, very different.  In fact, I probably wouldn't have posted it at all.

In case you were wondering...the puppy is still there staring at his own shadow but the wine has moved from the dresser to the desk and from the bottle to my glass.

Cheers!

Liquids: Day 15

Guess the Connection

First, sorry I'm late.  I took these yesterday but didn't have time to blog because I went wine tasting with friends...only we didn't taste wine because Ty the Wine Guy decided to change the date and not tell us.  Which is fine because I can read minds.  But I read his mind and then forgot so we ended up showing up to a tasting with no wine. 

What do you do when your wine tasting is a bust?  You get pizza and beer and act like caged animals on holiday.  

Anyway, I was sitting on my bed staring at my empty closet trying to figure out which of my three sweaters to wear and my eye drifted to the guitar next to my closet.  Then it dawned on me.....what a strange connection to my bag (which happened to be right next to the guitar).

So, can you figure out what the connection is?  

Liquids: Day 14

Road Cake

My friend, Drew, was standing outside my car window yesterday in the Zoo parking lot holding a plastic bag.  I rolled down the window and she started talking about chocolate cheerios, rice crispy treats, etc.  Kind of eluding to the fact that she made something great and was going to share.  But, she opened the bag and presented the above, deflated, angel food cake.  Apparently, she grabbed the wrong bag.  She then took the cake and threw it on the ground.  I took a picture, but I only had my blackberry and it came out terrible.

So, of course, I went back today with my camera to see if it was still there. And it was. Untouched. The cake deflation had something to do with lack of water in the egg whites or something like that.  I will leave you with her words.  Because there are funny.

From Drew:

I've been making ice cream, which calls for egg yolk and not whites. I have a lot of egg whites. Last week, two different people told me they were making angel food cake. I offered them my egg whites and they both said, "That's ok, the box just says to add water."

"You fools!" I thought to myself, "I've made angel food cake before and it's not that hard to make! Why make everything out of a box and eat all that artificial crap! I will show you! I will make one!!!"

So, I looked for my tried and true Alton Brown recipe. I read through some of the comments and LAUGHED at the ones that said their cakes didnt turn out. Laughed at the ones who said their cakes deflated. Laughed at the 20+ year baker who said she knew adding water to whipping up the egg whites would be sure to wreak havok on the cake and she claims her cake turned out horrible, because of this! I laughed at everyone elses failures and was going to make the PERFECT angel food cake! (Plus, I've made this before and it turned out great!)
Everything was going well. The batter was so fluffy and light. It rose in the over about 3 inches over the top of the pan. It was a thing of beauty. I brought it out to cool, just like the directions said.
An hour later... well, you saw it. :(

Liquids: Day 13

BEER CHIPS!

One of the best things about photography as a job is making people happy.  Sometimes, when people are really happy they give presents.  When those people are your friends, they tend to know what makes YOU happy and the presents get really good.  Today I got a bag of chips and two bottles of wine.  Not just any chips, but chips made with beer!  No, I'm not kidding you.  And they taste like beer.  And I let my kids eat them.  And they loved them.  Go ahead and judge me.

This is now the third time I have left the preschool parking lot with beer or wine or beer or wine related food items.  My life is good.

Liquids: Day 12

Runny Noses

We went out to play today. It didn't last too long.  Poor Mallory's boots kept getting stuck in the 28 inches of snow.  I kept hearing, "Stuck! Stuck! Out!".  Her nose was running, too.

Lydia enjoyed running around with a super sharp icicle. I let her do it and I'm not sure why.  Maybe because I had snow in my socks?  It's hard to think clearly with snow in your socks.

Bill is still shoveling.  More snow is due to arrive shortly.  I'm trying to find a silver lining here.  Perhaps it's that I'm getting a little better at these collage things.  They make blogging a little prettier.  

Oh, It's Super Bowl Sunday!!!  It's probably hard to be as uninterested in this as I am.  But, I will eat pizza and all things greasy in honor of the event.  I love a good excuse to eat and drink football style!!!

liquids: Day 11

The Cow Says, "mooooooo"

It's snowing here...AGAIN.  This "mild event" has turned into a snow emergency and we're trapped in the house.  We're bored.  Soooooo bored.  We've made forts, we've made pizzas, we've colored and painted, we've dressed up.  Thank you, Blizzard Bill, for the warning.  Had I known, I would have gone out and bought a couple of new books or toys or a case of wine.

So Mal was flipping through this book when I was playing with the camera today.  Did you know:

"Gunther Wahl extracted 3.52 pints of milk from a cow in two minutes on the set of the television show Guinness World Records: Die GroBten Weltrekorde in Germany, on December 20, 2008.  Moo!" Kristie VanGorken

Well, you do now.  But, had I known this was going on at the time, I would have challenged this.  Mal was a quick milker herself.  Quick, and often.  So who do you think deserves the title? Gunther or Mal?:

Liquids: Day 10

It's on, Mr. Mom!

What you can't see here is the disgusting pot of chili that's been in the sink for three days.  It was a stand-off.  And I TOTALLY WON.


P.S.  If you comment on this blog you are eligible to win swag.  So do it.

Liquids: Day 9

It's All Just Water?

Lydia: Mommy, what is steam?  

Me:  It's just water, in a gaseous form.  It's made of the same stuff as water, but when it gets hot, it changes state.  Kind of like when you change costumes.  You are still Lydia, you just look different.

Lydia:  Oh, I see.  So is snow water?

Me: Yes!  Very good!

Lydia:  It's all water?  I hate water.  Why can't it all be juice?

This is what I love about her.  She speaks straight off the brain.  She doesn't care about being judged, or looking stupid, or any of the things that keep us adults from reaching our full potential.  She genuinely wants to learn and understand.  I think we were all like that at some point.  Then we become aware of each other, of opinions, of societal norms and global rights and wrongs (as if we were all formed from the same mold). It breaks my heart to think that she will fall victim to the same thing.  I hope she doesn't.  I will encourage her not too.

I like that she choses to do things the way they make sense in her mind.  I like that she doesn't yet read instructions and has no idea that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  I like that there is a story behind everything.  Everything has a personality and a mission.  She's just so awesome, in every way.

So I choose to associate this post with the written word of Robert Frost.  Because I admire her for this very reason.  Today we walked outside to a freshly shoveled driveway.  A perfect path carved out between two rows of chaos.  And she chose the mounds.  She climbed them and stood on top of them and saw the world from a view that I wasn't able to see...because I didn't want my pants to get wet.  

Liquids: Day 8

Vacation Bloopers

Lydia was taking her bath today and totally lost in her imagination.  I was of no interest to her and her princesses so my mind wandered, as well.  I started playing with the floating letters and the FLA were in front of me.  Now I'm thinking about Florida (who isn't, right?).  Maybe it was the red A, but all of a sudden it hit me.  The funniest experience of my life, to date.

I was probably 13 or 14 and I'm pretty sure I had a friend with me on this trip.  Maybe Lindsay.  My brother had his friend, Chris.  We were driving to Orlando to visit my grandparents and we had stopped at a McDonald's to grab food, use the bathroom, and all the usual things you do when you stop in a Georgia McDonald's. Ok, well maybe not all of them.  On a different trip we left my brother at that McDonald's.  But, that's for a different post.

My mom was cleaning out the RV and had used the larger McDonald's bag to load up some of the trip trash.  One of these items was a glass bottle of tomato juice.  She loved tomato juice.  I love it, too, but never drink it.  I don't know why.  

My dad was heading out of the McDonald's when I looked that direction.  He was walking toward the RV.  Mom spotted him and grabbed her bag-o-trip-trash and took off running.  And fast.  So fast that her hair was about 3 inches behind the rest of body.  I mean she was really moving.  The bag was in her left hand (this is important).

Dad was watching her with that, "ooooh she thinks she's soooo funny" look is his eye and I knew something good was going to happen.  Right when the two bodies in motion were about to pass, he stuck his left leg straight to the side and his arms went straight up with it.  He kicked that bag right out of her hands, in mid stride, and the bottle of tomato juice exploded like a volcano.  It stopped her dead in her tracks.  She was covered from head to toe in red goo.  It was so awesome.  I was laughing so hard that I thought I may never recover.  The timing was genius and the way the wind came out of her sails...it couldn't have been better if he tried.

Ok, so maybe you had to be there, but it really was the funniest thing ever.  I'm cracking up typing this!!  Ah, vacation memories are the best, aren't they?  

Liquids: Day 7

Provisions

This is how a Michigan native prepares for Snowmageddon. Cheers! 

Winter Special!!!

February's Sundays

There is a big winter storm approaching tonight/tomorrow and that means a blanket of fresh snow. As annoying as that can be in our daily lives, it makes for some seriously beautiful photographs. 

Weather permitting (subzero temps, moderate/heavy snow showers, ice, etc., are not ideal for outdoor photos), I will offer heavily discounted, custom sessions each sunday during the month of February. Here are the details:

1. Sessions must take place at Pearson Park in Oregon, OH (it's BEAUTIFUL).

2. Sessions must be paid in full at the time of booking to hold your time slot.

3. Sessions will be rescheduled for inclement weather, illness, etc., but will not be refunded.

4. Sessions are for up to six individuals. Additional individuals will be charged a $20 session fee.

Pricing:

$200 includes:

1. A one-hour, custom outdoor portrait session.

2. A private online gallery of approximately 40 edited, digital images.

3. A DVD containing 20 high resolution images of your choice from your session.

4. A print authorization form (allowing you to print your images at the lab of your choice).

5. An entry into the drawing to receive a full set of prints for FREE! (Full set of prints is defined as 1-8x10, 2-5x7s, and 2 sheets of wallets). The drawing will take place on March 1, 2011.

This is a $390 value and will only be offered this month. On March 1, 2011, standard rates will apply. So break out those brightly colored hats, gloves and scarves and spend an hour playing in the snow!! You will not regret it, I promise.

Email me at photography@auntspray.com to book your session. Time slots are limited so email me soon. 

Looking forward to preserving your moments!

Jennifer :) :) :)